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Sometimes, there are moments that catch you off guard, times when you are not really prepared to answer life's bigger questions. And, when you are a parent, these situations tend to pop up when you least expect it. In my home, politics, current events, and the headline news are discussed and debated at the dinner table, while driving, whenever and wherever our family has the time and the inclination to discuss such matters. Most of the time, the conversations are spontaneous, lively, and brief. My daughter was with our family when the news announcer pronounced that Osama Bin Laden was dead. She heard our initial reactions, and as it was very late, she prudently went to bed and missed the President's Address to the Nation (it was a school night, after all!).
You can never be sure what sticks in a child's mind or how information is filtered and processed. While I was driving in the car, my daughter listened with me to the news. And then, she turned to me with a puzzled look, and asked in essence if it was okay for her to be happy about Osama Bin Laden's death. I knew she was seeking clarity and needing reassurance, because what she was hearing and seeing both at home, at school, and in the news did not match the life lessons she has been taught. Talk about a teachable mommy moment- and I mean for me, not for her!
I took a very deep breath, and choosing my words carefully, I began answering her question by asking her if she knew what happened on 9/11, if she understood the significance of that tragic day. I told her that she was just a toddler when the Towers fell, the Pentagon burned, and an airplane crashed in a small field. I asked her if she knew what the word terrorism meant, if she knew who Osama Bin Laden was. Once that ground was covered, I asked her if she knew what it meant to be an extremist. You should have seen the eye-roll she gave me in answer to that question, as if to say, "Like Mom, Who doesn't!"
She than asked me why Osama Bin Laden hated our country and hated us so much. She asked if he would have liked to have killed her, and I gave a truthful, honest answer: Yes. I explained to her that , a terrorist group, called al Qaeda, was an extremist sect of the Muslim religion, with Bin Laden as their leader. I told her that the Muslim religion is in and of itself a peaceful religion, and we are not at war with Muslims or those who follow the Muslim faith. I told her that we are at war with murderers and terrorists who want nothing more than to see American eradicated. I explained to her that extremists exist in every religion, and they use parts of their belief systems to justify cruelty, hatred, war, and murder. To help her make sense of the concepts, I compared those who are Christians to the actions of WBC (and in this home- Al Snyder and his fight against the WBC is legendary and a household name). I gave her a mini-history of the Crusades, to illustrate various forms of extremism throughout history. And, I finished by explaining how Osama Bin Laden's ideology and beliefs fueled his hatred towards every American and freedom loving person. She absorbed all of this information, and turning to me with eyes as big as saucers and sheer disbelief written all over her face, she asked me, "Do you mean to tell me that basically, all of this is because of a religious disagreement? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!"
I must say it was very hard for me to disagree! Our conversation ended on a very good note. Her anxieties and worries diminished, her questions were answered to the best of my ability, and her concerns were addressed. I think the lesson here is that we, as adults and parents, need to be mindful of the little ears and impressionable minds around us. Children are not stupid, and they absorb and understand more than we realize. I am glad that my daughter was able to spark such an in-depth conversation about why Osama Bin Laden's death is monumental for our country. I am glad that I had the opportunity to clarify her misunderstandings. And, I would like to believe, that as a loving mom, even if she hadn't initiated the conversation, sometime over the course of the past few days, I would have. I encourage you to talk to your children, listen to their concerns, and answer their questions. The war on terrorism is not over, and these children are our country's tomorrow.
In the words of President Barack Obama,
"The cause of securing our country is not complete. But tonight, we are once again reminded that America can do whatever we set our mind to. That is the story of our history, whether it’s the pursuit of prosperity for our people, or the struggle for equality for all our citizens; our commitment to stand up for our values abroad, and our sacrifices to make the world a safer place. Let us remember that we can do these things not just because of wealth or power, but because of who we are: one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America."
THANK YOU TO ALL WHO SERVE IN THE ARMED FORCES AND THEIR FAMILIES
You can never be sure what sticks in a child's mind or how information is filtered and processed. While I was driving in the car, my daughter listened with me to the news. And then, she turned to me with a puzzled look, and asked in essence if it was okay for her to be happy about Osama Bin Laden's death. I knew she was seeking clarity and needing reassurance, because what she was hearing and seeing both at home, at school, and in the news did not match the life lessons she has been taught. Talk about a teachable mommy moment- and I mean for me, not for her!
I took a very deep breath, and choosing my words carefully, I began answering her question by asking her if she knew what happened on 9/11, if she understood the significance of that tragic day. I told her that she was just a toddler when the Towers fell, the Pentagon burned, and an airplane crashed in a small field. I asked her if she knew what the word terrorism meant, if she knew who Osama Bin Laden was. Once that ground was covered, I asked her if she knew what it meant to be an extremist. You should have seen the eye-roll she gave me in answer to that question, as if to say, "Like Mom, Who doesn't!"
She than asked me why Osama Bin Laden hated our country and hated us so much. She asked if he would have liked to have killed her, and I gave a truthful, honest answer: Yes. I explained to her that , a terrorist group, called al Qaeda, was an extremist sect of the Muslim religion, with Bin Laden as their leader. I told her that the Muslim religion is in and of itself a peaceful religion, and we are not at war with Muslims or those who follow the Muslim faith. I told her that we are at war with murderers and terrorists who want nothing more than to see American eradicated. I explained to her that extremists exist in every religion, and they use parts of their belief systems to justify cruelty, hatred, war, and murder. To help her make sense of the concepts, I compared those who are Christians to the actions of WBC (and in this home- Al Snyder and his fight against the WBC is legendary and a household name). I gave her a mini-history of the Crusades, to illustrate various forms of extremism throughout history. And, I finished by explaining how Osama Bin Laden's ideology and beliefs fueled his hatred towards every American and freedom loving person. She absorbed all of this information, and turning to me with eyes as big as saucers and sheer disbelief written all over her face, she asked me, "Do you mean to tell me that basically, all of this is because of a religious disagreement? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!"
I must say it was very hard for me to disagree! Our conversation ended on a very good note. Her anxieties and worries diminished, her questions were answered to the best of my ability, and her concerns were addressed. I think the lesson here is that we, as adults and parents, need to be mindful of the little ears and impressionable minds around us. Children are not stupid, and they absorb and understand more than we realize. I am glad that my daughter was able to spark such an in-depth conversation about why Osama Bin Laden's death is monumental for our country. I am glad that I had the opportunity to clarify her misunderstandings. And, I would like to believe, that as a loving mom, even if she hadn't initiated the conversation, sometime over the course of the past few days, I would have. I encourage you to talk to your children, listen to their concerns, and answer their questions. The war on terrorism is not over, and these children are our country's tomorrow.
In the words of President Barack Obama,
"The cause of securing our country is not complete. But tonight, we are once again reminded that America can do whatever we set our mind to. That is the story of our history, whether it’s the pursuit of prosperity for our people, or the struggle for equality for all our citizens; our commitment to stand up for our values abroad, and our sacrifices to make the world a safer place. Let us remember that we can do these things not just because of wealth or power, but because of who we are: one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America."
THANK YOU TO ALL WHO SERVE IN THE ARMED FORCES AND THEIR FAMILIES
